they say your 20’s are the time to be selfish, to find out who you truly are. perhaps ill find myself dreaming in my mother’s strawberry patch, or leaving footprints along the rocky banks of the hudson river. maybe i’m coiled in the den behind a book, or drunk in nyack’s cheapest bars, or covered in sweat atop hi tor mountain.

where ever i may be hiding, its time to find myself. time to grow.

The loneliness is the hardest part. You spend so much time investing in another person, knowing exactly how they would react, their ticks, their mannerisms, the way the muscles in their cheeks twitch when their monster digs it’s nails into their brain and laughs as every little whisper of its predicted possibilities comes true.

Your cheeks twitched, that spring afternoon, sitting on the couch of my shitty apartment.

And suddenly, I am alone.